After I had lived in the US in few years, I went back to my native country to get marriage license with my ex-wife in order to bring her to the US. When I was in my ex-wife home town, I met an acquaintance( 25 years old). While he was lying in a hammock, we had a conversation.
Me: do you have a job?
Him: I worked in an industrial park in big city for a year, the job was so hard, so I quit. Now I don’t have any job.
Me: did you make enough money to survive while you were there?
Him: Yes
Me: if you can’t find any jobs in here, why don’t you go back to Saigon to find any jobs over there?
Him: no, I don’t like it.
Me: what do you do right now for your living?
Him: my mother takes care for me.
Me: why your mother works from dawn to dust, you don’t do any thing to take care for yourself?
Him: he is angry.
Me: I know it is time to stop the conversation because it is his business not mine.
I remember when I first came to the US, my first job was Chick-fil-A. During the time I worked there, I made many friends from teenager to students, immigrants from many countries such as South Sudan, Eritrea, Egypt,etc. The co-worker that I admired the most was my teenager co-worker. He was about sixteen years old, he had to work because his family was poor. In addition, he didn’t want to be burden for his family. In America, children when they are eighteen years old and up, they often go to work part time while they go to college or technical school. They don’t have an idea that rely to their parents for their surviving even their parents are rich. In my opinion, when we don’t rely on others, we work for our money. We know the value of money, so we often spend it wisely. In addition, people who less rely on others, they can get up easier after falling down.
Self-reliance is the main characteristic of American culture, it doesn’t mean you can’t ask help when you need, but it means you only ask help when you can’t do it by yourself or in emergency. My teenager co-worker has changed my life because I often relied on others for my conveniences. I think if I still was in my native country, I would have the same thought of my acquaintance. In Eastern cultures ( I guess), people often rely on others when they can do it by themselves for their convenience. I hope this article can help people from Eastern cultures understand people from Western cultures.